48. SHOUT IT ALL OUT

Shout it all out...

So why are we here, do we choose this live and if so why? (All depends on who you ask. I am just wondering who to believe.)

Good people in disguise, what exactly is that?

Do you have to dress funny to be spiritual?

What exactly is spiritual? 

I am asking these questions because I can, but you can answer them for yourselves.

My spiritual journey so far has been rather rough. What would you do if, every time you do your meditation like a good girl and speak to the Master (masters because they have mastered higher levels), every time you do this your life blows up in your face. Twice. That is a bit much, with human conditioning and all, these where very negative experiences and I did not want to repeat the same again. Hence, my withdrawal from the whole meditation thing. A bit too powerful and shocking to the system. On the other hand one might say that I was pushed into the right direction, hell, do they have to push so damn hard!

During this process somewhere I realized that one of the reasons the free will thing (kind of) backfires on me so often is because I know I will get it, but I still expect it to come the “hard” way and that is what I get.

At the same time there is this energy that comes in through these processes, channels have been open and energies flow through me. It starts with a buzzing in my ears, kind of a reminder, then this sensational energy runs down my spine, it is like a cosmic orgasm and it keeps on flowing right through me. Into the earth an all over the planet. I have to focus for only a few seconds and this to start happening. I think my soul purpose on this planet is to bring in this energy, that is all. I have never had any ambition or passion for anything, heck I am 47 and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I have now decided to focus my thought on how easy things are… thank you for the lesson, now give me easy!