48. SHOUT IT ALL OUT

Shout it all out...

So why are we here, do we choose this live and if so why? (All depends on who you ask. I am just wondering who to believe.)

Good people in disguise, what exactly is that?

Do you have to dress funny to be spiritual?

What exactly is spiritual? 

I am asking these questions because I can, but you can answer them for yourselves.

My spiritual journey so far has been rather rough. What would you do if, every time you do your meditation like a good girl and speak to the Master (masters because they have mastered higher levels), every time you do this your life blows up in your face. Twice. That is a bit much, with human conditioning and all, these where very negative experiences and I did not want to repeat the same again. Hence, my withdrawal from the whole meditation thing. A bit too powerful and shocking to the system. On the other hand one might say that I was pushed into the right direction, hell, do they have to push so damn hard!

During this process somewhere I realized that one of the reasons the free will thing (kind of) backfires on me so often is because I know I will get it, but I still expect it to come the “hard” way and that is what I get.

At the same time there is this energy that comes in through these processes, channels have been open and energies flow through me. It starts with a buzzing in my ears, kind of a reminder, then this sensational energy runs down my spine, it is like a cosmic orgasm and it keeps on flowing right through me. Into the earth an all over the planet. I have to focus for only a few seconds and this to start happening. I think my soul purpose on this planet is to bring in this energy, that is all. I have never had any ambition or passion for anything, heck I am 47 and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I have now decided to focus my thought on how easy things are… thank you for the lesson, now give me easy!

47. MAGICIANS AND MONSTERS

Get it?

A friend of mine asked me a while ago whether I might be depressed without realizing it. This made me think. Actually no, I am not depressed; I think I have just reach a stage of melancholy. I just do not want to care anymore.

I have come to a few harsh realizations over the last couple of months.

Firstly I do not think we have to worry too much about planet earth; she will keep on spinning long after we are gone. We might be contributing to global warming and all that, but the planet and the universe also goes through natural changes, I think we are maybe helping to speed up the process, but things will change, with or without our “help”.

Then you think you will be fine if you can just look after yourself and make sure you can survive when there are shortages of food etc. This is another big joke, if you are self sufficient; you will probably be one of the first targets when anarchy breaks out. So what is the point exactly?

Then, on a whole other level we have this whole NWO scary stuff and I do believe that there are a few families on this planet with far too much power and money, absolute power absolutely corrupts. I have always wondered why that is, but is does seem to be the norm. We have had so many political systems, like Communism, Socialism and the biggest joke of them all, so called Democracy. All of these failed us, not because there is anything wrongs with any of these systems, in theory, but in practice we always ends up with Psychopathic puppets for leaders, regardless of the system.

It is an absolute reality that the few rich are getting richer and the rest are getting poorer and our wonderful democratic system makes sure that this happens, yet we keep on voting like a bunch of sheep. The truth of the matter is that we have no say, money and power has the first and final say, in all matters.

Between nature playing havoc and money being the Alpha and Omega in everything and having “elected” leaders making decisions based on corporate interest, we are in a pretty big mess here. Still, at least half the population of the planet has no idea what is going on. I so wish I was one of these people, ignorance is bliss!

When I started realizing all this, I started hating money, very wrong thing to do. That is the quickest and easiest way to push it away from you, especially if you see yourself as a “good” and money as ‘bad”, how do you bring the two together? The fact remains we need money, we helped to create this system, so deal with it. Money is simply pieces of paper with value and you can do good or bad with it, it is simply a choice.

Now I am going to throw a big spanner in the work and say we absolutely deserve what we get. It will not be pretty but it is simply cause and effect. How many innocent lives do we take on this planet every day? I am not just talking about human lives here; I am talking about the masses and masses of animals we so happily and readily butcher and eat and via this process we feed food for human to cows and we also end up with starving people. Do you honestly think this will have no karmic effect? We mass murder to stuff our (already) fat faces, we have no compassion, yet we expect compassion?

Unfortunately there are those religious nuts that actually believe god made these beautiful creates for us to eat; I find it hard to have compassion with that kind of stupidity!

We are as much fodder as the animals we eat; we are also animals to be “eaten” and the poorer you are the more likely you are to get eaten. We get what we hand out and as long as we keep on abusing the abuse will come back.

So here is my conclusion, make money, make lots of it, but get out of the conditioning of “find a job”, there are no jobs, you have to create income. Big mind shift.

Forget about those things you cannot change and change those you can, old news really, but that is really all you can do. Be the change you want to see and clear your karmic slate. This is now all about self love, it is about me, myself and I and the ones I love (that includes all animals) hopefully I do not turn into the next Dictator, but how are you going to make the world a better place if you cannot even change your own pathetic little reality?

I will be the first one the sing and dance when this system collapses or planet Earth shakes us all off, but that can take another 50 years or more. In the meantime, life goes on...

46. YELLOWWOOD FOREST

Vincent and the Pizza Oven

I want to tell you about the interesting connection between KD and Yellowwood, in Morgan's Bay. Two of the finding members of KD, Yan and Alex stayed here in a Tee Pee, in the Camp site, before they bought and moved to KD. They are both Buddhist and vegetarian and they built a Pizza oven here on the premises. This oven is still here and it is still karma free, meaning no meat has ever been cooked in it. It is a lovely wood burning oven under a sort of a Lapa. You can add some meat afterwards, if you absolutely have to or you can order from the other restaurant, which does all the other food.

We are now staying in a loft room above the Restaurant, this is obviously just for the season. We are really grateful for this space. Always difficult to find accommodation in the middle of peak season. 

We have the whole of next year to properly plan and execute the walking trails and all our other plans, right now we have a car to fix, amongst other things. 

Yellowwood is basically two Restaurants and a Camping site, all in one. Right in a forest on the bank of a (small) river. 

The Pizza Oven Story

45. BOOT CAMP AND GOOD BYE

Building in progress at the Retreat accommodation.

It seems like our days at KD are coming to an end soon.

So, why the sudden change in direction?

I have mentioned a few time that some new people where added to the mix, people come and go all the time and we get along very well with almost everybody. The first 6 months or so was wonderful. The owner was in Nederland (where he and his South African wife was visiting). The minute they came back, the whole dynamic changes, everything had to get their permission for everything. this sitting and staring at each other and sharing feelings thing was also their idea and they feel very offended if you do not want to be part of it. 

Endless meeting, such a waste of time, if you actually have real things to do, I guess some people just love hearing their own voice. Their idea of green living is buying everything form Woolworhts and leaving the layers of packaging for other people to deal with. They can meditate for days on end, but that does not seem to help them be better people. This places turned from a really nice place into a Buddish bootcamp. Great if that is what you are into, but I am not.

I found out later that these people are called trustafarians, wonna be rastas with Europen trust accounts. This is a game to them and my prediction is that they will get bored, sooner or later and more on. 

We would like to move on before the Vipassana meditation started, we will not be able to charge any laptop or phones in the house during the period of the meditation (the house will be used as accommodation) and that will be very difficult. Suddenly Somewhere between 20 and 30 people will be meditating for 10 days. This was just the last straw, not the fact that there is a meditation session for 10 day, but the fact that everybody else are suddenly second grade citizen and are denies access to charging and using the solar cooker etc. 

The cherry on top,  this morning we have a flat tire. Actually the flat tire probably saved our lives, it is actually a lot more than just a flat tire, the whole steering is skew, and we will only be able to make work of this on Monday and we are smack bang in the middle of Xmas/festive holidays.  All because of these roads, so now we are temporarily car less as well. Just to make it clear, I am not blaming anybody for the state of the roads, besides the biggest problem is the 8 km from the gate to the tar road that leads to the M2 highway. 

This puts all our plans in suspension, but this morning Shaun contacted Riaan to come and see him (Shaun and his family lives in and owns a Restaurant and caravan park in Morgan's bay) and I have a feeling this is going to be good news, he did say something about maybe having a caravan for us to use until after season.

Communal Kitchen far from complete

KD is busy putting together a new vision and I think this is very important, people does not seem to be on the same page. 

I have also learned that I am not really the community type, far too much of an introvert. Now people understand the term introvert wrong, it does not mean I am shy, it simply means that I am less social, I love my own company (and talking to myself) and I am happy that way. Then you get extroverts, they are not necessary the ones with the biggest mouths, but they need the company of other people constantly, they need to share their feelings and these sort of thing freak out the introvert.  Neither is wrong or right, it is just different and very often misunderstood.

I do feel sorry for Nicole and Fabian’s loss, (lots of Euro’s and passports got stone from them) but this is at a point of ridiculous. I told you they went to see a clairvoyant, and then based on what this person said every single black (yes people only the black people) where fingerprinted (so far no results). I feel so sorry for Meduna and his family, It would have been fair if everybody living here where fingerprinted, including the two accuser. Do these two people have any idea what sort of rift they could have created?

I say a big thank you to Tim and Anne, because they are genuine people with good intent and they work very hard.  KD was fun, a great adventure and a huge learning curve. 

The couple with four children which was suppose joint the community and stay in the main house (after the meditation course) also had one meeting with Ole and Zanele and left the next day....

Kevan is cool and so is pretty much everybody else we met here. I also no longer think all American are Obese and brain dead, thanks to some wonderful American Volunteers we met and I will miss Caroline, the crazy Frenchy, as Riaan calls her.

KD is trying, get the new vision out and go for it. 

I wish you all love and light and the ability to stay in the moment.

Thank you for an enriching experience.

44. PESTO AND PIZZA

Joy making the biggest bowl of Pesto

It is interesting to see how people get all creative in the kitchen, pesto making (my favorite) and I make a mean one, although I must admit that my last attempt was not that good, a bit bitter, but Pascal made a rather spicy pesto that was really special.  The problem with me is  that I normally just throw together what I have and sometimes it does not work and when it works you can normally not remember exactly what the ingredients and quantities where.  The one thing I did find out is that pumpkin seed are a very nice addition and makes the Pesto creamier, especially it you do not  have Pine kernels. I also love Rocket in pesto, gives it that extra bite.

I have also noticed that the Pizza oven is being used quite regularly lately, big bread baking business. At the moment it is Joy and Greg living in the house and it reminds me of our bread baking days, but we eventually decided to keep this for special occasions because it is a rather pricey business (well, the type of breads that Riaan like to built in any case) and it is also quite time consuming, never the less fun to experiment with.

Come to think of it, maybe I should be super nice and give you my Pesto recipe, but I will have to make it myself again, seeing that the last batch was not so good, but I think it was because the Basil has already flowered, lots of plants go bitter when and after flowering. Maybe we should rather ask Pacal for his recipe..

Pascal making his Pesto

Riaan is still away and I am spending less and less time in the house and the garden, I have so many of my own thing to try and sort out. As much as this was mostly a fun learning experience it just feels like time to move on.